Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Bye bye my lovah!!!

There have been a lot of doctor’s appointments for me in the past weeks. Among the things I did was an emergency brain scan that was on this past Friday. I didn’t write about it because some how I didn’t won’t to jinx the result. (Yeah like I have magic powers, but anyhow that's why). If I fell down there wouldn’t come any blood because they have taking it all. I had a follow up meeting with my Doctor today. The brain scan showed that 1. I have one 2. It’s not a tumour (I say this with my *Arnold Swatcnegger voice). Okay but the most important thing that happend is that the Dr (Lets from now on call her DR Evil) told me that my cholesterol is too high.
Cholesterol is too high!!!!? WHAT!!! WHAT!!! (using my Dave Chappelle voice) WHAT!!! She told me that I should eat more fish?! What!!!

Me – I can't
Dr- Oh I see in your journal that you can’t have fish, that’s a real shame. Try to have less “fatty” meat at least.
Me – Yeah I will try ( My middle name is fried bacon). I will really try.
Dr- there is good fats and bad fats…..
Me- mh….yes…..okay… bad fat……mh
Dr- Since you are so slim you really have to see this as a warning. It’s an early warning and not an alarming warning, but it’s a warning. Exercise and no more BAD FATS. Okay :)
Me-…..? :)????(help L)…????:) (I’m having a really fake smile and nodding my head, like I really understand).
Dr- Exercise, exercise, exercise I can’t stress that enough.
And after all of this I had an ECG! HELLO!!!! You can’t give woman news like this and then expect a broken heart to give an accurate result!

On the way home I went to Mc Donald’s. I was so depressed I started to hallucinate

Me: Goodbye, peanutbutter. Oh, don't cry! You'll melt so dreadfully. Here's your oil can.
Tin of Coca cola: Now I know I've got a heart, 'cause it's breaking...
Me: Goodbye, Lion (chocolate bar). I know it isn't right, but I'm going to miss the way you used to hollar for help before you found your nougat.
Lion bar: I never would've found it if it hadn't been for you...
Me: [to Mc Donald’s] I think I'm going to miss you most of all.

It’s time for me to start eating health. I will start tomorrow. I mean it. I really do. I joke about it, but it’s time for me to take it serious. I now have to throw away all the menus to all the take away places. And go/ walk to more healthy places and ask for new ones ( exercise, exercise, exercise).
Note to self; delete all numbers from speed dial.

*Arnold Swatcnegger in Kindergarten Cop (1990)
Detective John Kimble: I have a headache.
Lowell: It might be a tumour.
Detective John Kimble: It's not a tumour!


Noelia said...

This is a serious matter indeed but I couldn't help but chuckle at the post and the song so please forgive me. I do on occasion talk to my food (I don't sign to it like you do and I'm sure there are a lot of reasons for this..but let's not go there) Kuddos to you for wanting to make this change in your lifestyle, It's going to be a long road ahead but with that sense of humor that you have, the battle is half won :)


Oh goodness. I know your pain. I'm not in the best of health either. I'm racking my brain right now to keep on the straight and narrow. But with even rise of my stress level so to comes the bad fast food! I'm with you girlie!!! A sister has to take good care of herself!!!!! You'll make it!